How can I

look forward to the future if I continue to hold onto the past? Especially when my recollection of the past consists of unhappy memories. Why can't I remember the good times instead? Because there weren't many to begin with. Those unwarranted experiences were fuelled by anger, selfishness, ignorance and also laziness. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to the "I". "I" wanting to put the blame on the other and not on myself for my misdemeanour because "I" am PERFECT; "I" having high expectations and expecting my wishes to be fulfilled because "I" am so GREAT; "I" not bothering to help appease the madness because "I" am just too indolent; and "I" getting impatient and irritated for plans that didn't happen because "I" just can. Now I realise that I am NOT that PERFECT; NOT that GREAT; and I can be QUITE LAZY and IMPATIENT and IRRITABLE. After all, I am only human and we were not born as flawless creatures - but really we were brought into this world equipped with our own special talents and unique shortcomings. Why? To make the best with what we are endowed with and to continuously improve ourselves until we achieve our own version of perfection. At least, I know my weaknesses and I willingly admit them with dignified humility - a little bit of that quality comes a long way. The important thing is that I take away something valuable - a lesson or a few - from the past and use it to my best advantage. I have learnt something. Have you?

I am really looking forward to MY future.

For me, life has just begun.

My Newfound Fighting Spirit

I AM A FIGHTER NOW...THANKS TO YOU!

After all that you put me through,
You think I'd despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
'Cause you've made me that much stronger

Well I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know how just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you, cause it...

makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies cause you're wanted to haunt me
but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture

I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me

I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enoughhhhhh

makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Thought I would forget
But I, I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter! 

STEAM STEAM STEAM

I cannot take this anymore

I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway
Just like before...

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
Just like before

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up
Shut up, I'm about to break!

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break 

THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU!

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!!

I have let YOU go. I won't let MY emotions be controlled by YOU. I won't waste MY time and effort on YOU. Why should I, when all I get is nothing but hurt and ungratefulness? It is blatantly clear that  YOU do not know what gratitude is and how to reciprocate care - only YOUR needs are what you know best. How can YOU call yourself MY FRIEND if YOU can't even, for a moment, be happy for ME? Be proud of ME? Be accepting of ME for all that I am? Instead, I sense vibes of jealousy and resentment emanating from YOU. YOU can deny all that YOU want but vibrations don't lie.  

I tried. And, I am tired of it all. What's the point of trying when all my efforts go unappreciated? Instead, they backfire and I start to doubt myself. My other friends can attest to the fact that I am a good listener and advisor but I can just as easily flush their testimonies down the toilet bowl as one could with urine and faeces. Only YOUR words would ring incessantly in my head, like an irritating buzzing noise. I don't even know why or how YOUR comments can have a gripping effect on me.

But that is all in the past. It's over. I am moving on. I am walking in the direction of the door to inner peace and joy, and YOU are NOT going to stand in MY way.     

This is one chance you'll ever see Zan Li make a fool out of herself. Enticed yet?

Name:	I still love Tushita!
Tagline:	Lunch is on us! Bring your friends and family to watch this hilarious skit! A fun(d) raising lunch cum play cum auction to complete the building of the Tushita Meditation Hall (gompa) in McLeod Ganj, Dharamsala, India
Host:	I STILL Love Tushita!
Type:	Causes - Fundraiser

Time and Place

Date:	Saturday, March 1, 2008
Time:	11:30am - 2:15pm
Location:	72 Keng Lee Road, Kim Mui Hoey Kuan Association
Street:	Opposite KK Hospital
City/Town:	Singapore
	View Map

Contact Info

Email:

istilllovetushita@yahoo.com

Description

CAST: 
The Oracle on her meditation rock, Ma Jieh..............Cecilia Tsong
News reader, Bracelet model, Softo Tofu.......................Elizabeth Lee
Blur Reporter, Farah Melwani, ......................................Tara Melwani
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala, Awards Host & 
Construction Worker.................................................Lilian Lai
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala, Shitake 
Whatanassiam & Construction Worker.........................Danny Chu
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker........Graeme Goh
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker.......Grace Tan
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker...........Lynda Tan
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker...........Zan Li Kiew



PLUS SPECIAL APPEARANCES BY: 
Celebrity Nadya Hutagalung, Desmond Koh and Drolkar McCallum (specially airflown from Dharamsala, India, who plays herself - the frustrated director of Tushita Meditation Centre)

BEHIND THE SCENES:

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Tara Melwani & Sua Ee Jong

DIRECTED/PLAYWRIGHT: The Star of Singapore's hit TV Sitcom, "ACHAR" - 'Mrs Uma Chhabria' aka MALTI LALWANI

Sounds and Visuals...Shirley Ong
Props........................Kennedy Koh

ALL ARE WELCOME! PLEASE INVITE YOURSELF IF YOU HAVE STUMBLED UPON THIS PAGE & WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND!

RSVP by 26 Feb 2008 to any of the names above or email us at: istilllovetushita@yahoo.com or post a message on our FB wall to let us know how many people you are bringing so that seats can be reserved for you.

Do inform us if you would like a closer look at the e-invitation cum poster, we'll send you a copy by email.

Don't we all love scandals?

Did you hear about the latest Hong Kong scandal involving Edison Chen and 8 other women? If you haven't, then you must either be aversive to gossip or just outdated. All you have to do is google it and you'll find an array of links relating to the scandal, with incriminating photos included. Even wikipedia serves as a good resource.

I now pose a question to you: What makes this kind of story so scandalicious? 1. We enjoy being a "kei-poh" (a busybody); and 2. Our lives are so humdrum that we need such news to excite us. Ok, jokes aside. This scandal has highlighted the dangers that women can encounter when caught off guard. We need to be aware, especially young girls, that there are men with an ulterior motive - to exploit the female body for their own desires. Women are widely known to be the embodiment of vulnerability and men perceive that trait as something inferior. Hence they believe it is their right to take advantage of their vulnerability. I know it is difficult to see through that thick layer of epidermis and these are the guys who appear innocuous and nice. THEY are the ones the ladies should be wary of. But just for the record, not all men are as nasty as some portray themselves to be - there are genuine chivalrous guys who would treat a lady like she's the queen - his one and only queen.

So, to my fellow female friends, be on the lookout for such people and don't lose your guard. This event may have caused many heartaches, disappointment and anger - and even exposed a shocking revelation about some of the victims - but the positive thing that arose from the ordeal is that it has brought a sense of awareness to the world. Who would have thought we live in a perfectly safe world, devoid of peril? If you did, you're either naive for you've been sheltered from all the malice by those who have good intentions at heart, or you're in the protection of your loved ones. At least you now know the existence of amoral people and the atrocity that entails.

The Interplay of Heaven, Earth and Man

Recently, I attended a feng shui talk and I wouldn't say that I'm an avid feng shui reader or practitioner but I thought it wouldn't be harmful to leairn a few things about Chinese metaphysics. For the uninitiated, feng shui is a traditional Chinese practice believed to utilize the Laws of both Heaven, (astronomy), and Earth, (geography), to help improve one's life by tapping positive energy (chi, in Chinese). Tempting, isn't it, when your life is at its lowest point and you want to turn it around? Yes, to a certain extent, feng shui may help to bring a positive change into your life, provided you apply the correct feng shui methods and act on them. You may have a feng shui consultant do a reading for you and recommending remedies to overcome whatever obstacles you are facing at this point in time but they may work or may not, depending on your own karma. If you have bad karma, regardless of how impeccable that consultant is, the person may provide the wrong advice or suggest a cure that instead, exacerbates the predicament. Therefore, it is extremely vital that one seeks help from the Divine and one does prayers sincerely for oneself so that one day you will better equipped to help yourself and benefit others. You may not believe in the powers of prayers right now but speaking from experience, it would be foolish for any one to underestimate its powers. Of course, at the end of the day, you alone can only create your own happiness and transform your life. Feng shui and other avenues of improving one's life can play a part in allowing the positive energy to flow into your life but with the help of prayers, you can be sure that, with the right application of such means, you will succeed in changing your life, for the better.