My Goals

1. Survive a year of tax, at least.

2. Save up for my Euro trip.

3. Become a happier person.

4. Instill positivity in my life.

5. Have a healthier and well-balanced lifestyle.

6. Polish up my English and learn Mandarin.

7. Get in touch with my spiritual-self.

8. Shed 3 kilos!!! And tone up!

9. Meet more people and be amiable with them.

10. Read more good, worthy books.

11. Be more focused!

12. Stay strong, always.

I hope I am able to fulfill at least half of my goals by the middle of next year. Let's see how it goes, yea? Support me!!

Welcome to the real world!

Yes..yes..I have finally landed myself a job at KPMG! Whoopeeeeeeee!!! 

I'm entering into the second week of work and already the work pile is progressively rising, file by file.

I think I'm gonna be swamped with work sooner than I expected. Yikes!

There is so much to learn and yet, too little time to digest everything at one go. 

"Just breathe. Take one step at a time."

Like the way Jordin Sparks sings it ey?

"There's no need to rush..It's like learning to flyyyy....la la dee laaaa..."

Toodles, my friends!

xoxo

Signorina Q (inspired by gossip girl..keke)

What's important to me right now?

I haven't got the slightest clue.

Am I screwed or what?

I need direction...can you please be that kind person so as to direct me to the right path?

Some things you just can't forget

Sometimes by Britney Spears

I want it that way by Backstreet Boys

I do by 98 Degrees

Flying without wings by Westlife

Nottinghill, She's All That, Never Been Kissed, 10 Things I Hate About You....

All these things will always remind me of you..of us when we were one..

There were many other songs that helped create an emotional connection to you but these are the few that stick so strongly, like super glue. 

Don't worry, I have let you go...but somehow I am still holding onto those memories and anything that can associate me with you...

I am not expecting or hoping for a second chance but somebody asked me a question and it got me thinking...

"If I had to choose between my close girlfriend or you to meet up, I would outrightly say my close girlfriend" - but I would only be lying to myself because my heart says otherwise.

Sometimes I wish I could rewind back to that year..to those months...and change what happened between us and treated you better...but what's the point right?

At least something good came out of us - even though we didn't fit together as a couple - and I am glad that we're closer now than ever.

*winks* 

Never say "Never".

Don't you agree with this phrase? Never say, "Never". I'm sure you have heard tons of people who say, "I will never do this" or "I will never be like that person" or "I will never be caught dead wearing that". All of this sound awfully familiar? I feel that when you incorporate "never" in an important statement that you're about to proclaim to the rest of the world, at the end of the day, you always tend to eat up your own words. In turn, the word "never" kinda has the effect of jinxing yourself. 

I have often heard many people said that they would never do/don that and it sounded like they were gonna uphold the promises they made to themselves forever. Yea, maybe they did keep those promises for a month or two, or for a year. They were weakened by some special force that was far more powerful than their own willpower. And thus, they succumbed to that formidable force and became what they initially vowed never to become, or wore what they previously thought was gaudy and inappropriate in their eyes.

Unfortunately, I have to concede that I am one of those people who have let their arrogance to cause their own downfalls. I have learnt that one has to be very cautious about using the right words when intending to make a point or to convey a message across - you wouldn't want the other party to misconstrue your words now do you? Only then people won't misjudge you or have the impression of you as being a liar. As long as we think before we say aloud our thoughts and are aware of the consequences, we should have no qualms about saying "never" to things that are harmful to us. However, don't use "never" frivolously.   

Learning to Relish Life

Certain experiences or events happen for a reason. In life, there is bound to be ups and downs, highs and lows. Only then we can improve ourselves, to become better characters which the world is lacking at the moment. Only then we can appreciate what is in front of us or be able to distinguish right from wrong, good from bad. We all have different lessons that we must learn from life itself. If we treat life as our teacher, then I suppose we won't be so disgruntled and resentful towards life. Instead, we start to look forward to tomorrow or to the next hour, with delight. Why hate when you can love? Why be selfish when you can find joy in being selfless? Why be angry and impatient when you know very well that anger only leads to more anger and eventually violence? Why be depressed and distressed when you can be happy and unfettered? Just let all the negativities that have been bottling up inside to dissolve and set yourself free. You just won't know what life has in store for you if you incarcerate yourself in the four-walled room, brooding in the corner and detesting LIFE.   

:((

I am having such a bad day. I thought it was over but how wrong was I. I need a break. From everything. I am going away. I don't give a damn what that person thinks! I am still going!!!

It is time to be selfless...

The world is in turmoil. Recently, calamities seem to be making headlines worldwide and in all forms of media. Natural disaster after natural disaster - they just keep rolling in as if there were no tomorrow.  

Sometimes, I find it depressing reading the news about harrowing events, especially when thousands of lives are concerned. One can't help but wonder: what's the point of reading all this, other than being up-to-date about the world's affairs, if you can't lend a helping hand? On the one hand, I wish I could be there to offer my services or skills that the aid organisations so desperately need. On the other, I feel I am not ready to take on a task of such a magnitude. It is a huge responsibility to be a volunteer and a helper. There should be more people like Mother Teresa. She is such an inspiration to us all. But I am sure there are those who emulate her devotion and care for people, or at least they try. 

China seems to be getting the brunt of things this year. If it is not the protests by people who strongly support the Tibetan cause, it is Mother Nature intervening, giving China a harder time by throwing in an earthquake that has claimed 18000 lives now. The Burmese junta is also in the same predicament as China. First, the brutal crackdown in September of 2007, which wasn't handled properly, and just less than 2 weeks ago, the Cyclone Nargis struck the already-impoverished country, leaving a million people homeless and famished. In the wake of all these natural disasters that have been happening, my heart goes out to all those who died and to those who survived but lost their loved ones to the wrath of Mother Nature.  

I just hope all that has been obliterated be built again as soon as possible so that the survivors can move past the trauma and continue living again.

Feeling 14 all over again

You do everything I wish I did
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you
I know I should tell you how I feel
I wish everyone would disappear
Everytime you call me, I'm too scared to be me
And I'm too shy to say,

Ooh, I got a crush on you (crush on you)
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush when I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you, a crush on you...

Daydreaming harmless?

Anticipation is what gives us the thrill that we crave for. In anticipation of an event, we conjure scenarios that we wish for in our heads. This is called fantasizing. It is fine to daydream, to build castles in the air, but it can't be a routine, unless your dreams have the potential to become a reality. 

It is hard not to fantasize about the things you want but don't have and about a person you really like but who doesn't reciprocate. Having said that, if one fantasizes about a certain object or subject 24-7, this fantasy can turn into an obsession and it can lead one to dangerous grounds. Anyone has the capability to go mental if the person allows the mind to wander off away from the real world. The person wouldn't be able to distinguish between what is true and what is false. Majority of us do not realise how powerful the mind is. If we do not strengthen it, just like the body, it becomes weak and vulnerable to all kinds of psychological illnesses.

There is a limit to everything. As I mentioned earlier, it is ok to dream about being in a world where everything happens in accordance with your wishes. However, do not let your daydreaming go overboard and turn it into an act of hallucination.

A reminder to all

There comes a point in time where one realises that there are people who matter and there are those who don't or never did. Don't worry about those from the past because there is a reason why they didn't make it to the present.  

I couldn't agree more.

How can I

look forward to the future if I continue to hold onto the past? Especially when my recollection of the past consists of unhappy memories. Why can't I remember the good times instead? Because there weren't many to begin with. Those unwarranted experiences were fuelled by anger, selfishness, ignorance and also laziness. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to the "I". "I" wanting to put the blame on the other and not on myself for my misdemeanour because "I" am PERFECT; "I" having high expectations and expecting my wishes to be fulfilled because "I" am so GREAT; "I" not bothering to help appease the madness because "I" am just too indolent; and "I" getting impatient and irritated for plans that didn't happen because "I" just can. Now I realise that I am NOT that PERFECT; NOT that GREAT; and I can be QUITE LAZY and IMPATIENT and IRRITABLE. After all, I am only human and we were not born as flawless creatures - but really we were brought into this world equipped with our own special talents and unique shortcomings. Why? To make the best with what we are endowed with and to continuously improve ourselves until we achieve our own version of perfection. At least, I know my weaknesses and I willingly admit them with dignified humility - a little bit of that quality comes a long way. The important thing is that I take away something valuable - a lesson or a few - from the past and use it to my best advantage. I have learnt something. Have you?

I am really looking forward to MY future.

For me, life has just begun.

My Newfound Fighting Spirit

I AM A FIGHTER NOW...THANKS TO YOU!

After all that you put me through,
You think I'd despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
'Cause you've made me that much stronger

Well I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know how just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you, cause it...

makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies cause you're wanted to haunt me
but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture

I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me

I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enoughhhhhh

makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Thought I would forget
But I, I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter! 

STEAM STEAM STEAM

I cannot take this anymore

I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway
Just like before...

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
Just like before

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up
Shut up, I'm about to break!

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break 

THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU!

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!!

I have let YOU go. I won't let MY emotions be controlled by YOU. I won't waste MY time and effort on YOU. Why should I, when all I get is nothing but hurt and ungratefulness? It is blatantly clear that  YOU do not know what gratitude is and how to reciprocate care - only YOUR needs are what you know best. How can YOU call yourself MY FRIEND if YOU can't even, for a moment, be happy for ME? Be proud of ME? Be accepting of ME for all that I am? Instead, I sense vibes of jealousy and resentment emanating from YOU. YOU can deny all that YOU want but vibrations don't lie.  

I tried. And, I am tired of it all. What's the point of trying when all my efforts go unappreciated? Instead, they backfire and I start to doubt myself. My other friends can attest to the fact that I am a good listener and advisor but I can just as easily flush their testimonies down the toilet bowl as one could with urine and faeces. Only YOUR words would ring incessantly in my head, like an irritating buzzing noise. I don't even know why or how YOUR comments can have a gripping effect on me.

But that is all in the past. It's over. I am moving on. I am walking in the direction of the door to inner peace and joy, and YOU are NOT going to stand in MY way.     

This is one chance you'll ever see Zan Li make a fool out of herself. Enticed yet?

Name:	I still love Tushita!
Tagline:	Lunch is on us! Bring your friends and family to watch this hilarious skit! A fun(d) raising lunch cum play cum auction to complete the building of the Tushita Meditation Hall (gompa) in McLeod Ganj, Dharamsala, India
Host:	I STILL Love Tushita!
Type:	Causes - Fundraiser

Time and Place

Date:	Saturday, March 1, 2008
Time:	11:30am - 2:15pm
Location:	72 Keng Lee Road, Kim Mui Hoey Kuan Association
Street:	Opposite KK Hospital
City/Town:	Singapore
	View Map

Contact Info

Email:

istilllovetushita@yahoo.com

Description

CAST: 
The Oracle on her meditation rock, Ma Jieh..............Cecilia Tsong
News reader, Bracelet model, Softo Tofu.......................Elizabeth Lee
Blur Reporter, Farah Melwani, ......................................Tara Melwani
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala, Awards Host & 
Construction Worker.................................................Lilian Lai
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala, Shitake 
Whatanassiam & Construction Worker.........................Danny Chu
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker........Graeme Goh
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker.......Grace Tan
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker...........Lynda Tan
Dancing Citizen of Dharamsala,Construction Worker...........Zan Li Kiew



PLUS SPECIAL APPEARANCES BY: 
Celebrity Nadya Hutagalung, Desmond Koh and Drolkar McCallum (specially airflown from Dharamsala, India, who plays herself - the frustrated director of Tushita Meditation Centre)

BEHIND THE SCENES:

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Tara Melwani & Sua Ee Jong

DIRECTED/PLAYWRIGHT: The Star of Singapore's hit TV Sitcom, "ACHAR" - 'Mrs Uma Chhabria' aka MALTI LALWANI

Sounds and Visuals...Shirley Ong
Props........................Kennedy Koh

ALL ARE WELCOME! PLEASE INVITE YOURSELF IF YOU HAVE STUMBLED UPON THIS PAGE & WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND!

RSVP by 26 Feb 2008 to any of the names above or email us at: istilllovetushita@yahoo.com or post a message on our FB wall to let us know how many people you are bringing so that seats can be reserved for you.

Do inform us if you would like a closer look at the e-invitation cum poster, we'll send you a copy by email.

Don't we all love scandals?

Did you hear about the latest Hong Kong scandal involving Edison Chen and 8 other women? If you haven't, then you must either be aversive to gossip or just outdated. All you have to do is google it and you'll find an array of links relating to the scandal, with incriminating photos included. Even wikipedia serves as a good resource.

I now pose a question to you: What makes this kind of story so scandalicious? 1. We enjoy being a "kei-poh" (a busybody); and 2. Our lives are so humdrum that we need such news to excite us. Ok, jokes aside. This scandal has highlighted the dangers that women can encounter when caught off guard. We need to be aware, especially young girls, that there are men with an ulterior motive - to exploit the female body for their own desires. Women are widely known to be the embodiment of vulnerability and men perceive that trait as something inferior. Hence they believe it is their right to take advantage of their vulnerability. I know it is difficult to see through that thick layer of epidermis and these are the guys who appear innocuous and nice. THEY are the ones the ladies should be wary of. But just for the record, not all men are as nasty as some portray themselves to be - there are genuine chivalrous guys who would treat a lady like she's the queen - his one and only queen.

So, to my fellow female friends, be on the lookout for such people and don't lose your guard. This event may have caused many heartaches, disappointment and anger - and even exposed a shocking revelation about some of the victims - but the positive thing that arose from the ordeal is that it has brought a sense of awareness to the world. Who would have thought we live in a perfectly safe world, devoid of peril? If you did, you're either naive for you've been sheltered from all the malice by those who have good intentions at heart, or you're in the protection of your loved ones. At least you now know the existence of amoral people and the atrocity that entails.

The Interplay of Heaven, Earth and Man

Recently, I attended a feng shui talk and I wouldn't say that I'm an avid feng shui reader or practitioner but I thought it wouldn't be harmful to leairn a few things about Chinese metaphysics. For the uninitiated, feng shui is a traditional Chinese practice believed to utilize the Laws of both Heaven, (astronomy), and Earth, (geography), to help improve one's life by tapping positive energy (chi, in Chinese). Tempting, isn't it, when your life is at its lowest point and you want to turn it around? Yes, to a certain extent, feng shui may help to bring a positive change into your life, provided you apply the correct feng shui methods and act on them. You may have a feng shui consultant do a reading for you and recommending remedies to overcome whatever obstacles you are facing at this point in time but they may work or may not, depending on your own karma. If you have bad karma, regardless of how impeccable that consultant is, the person may provide the wrong advice or suggest a cure that instead, exacerbates the predicament. Therefore, it is extremely vital that one seeks help from the Divine and one does prayers sincerely for oneself so that one day you will better equipped to help yourself and benefit others. You may not believe in the powers of prayers right now but speaking from experience, it would be foolish for any one to underestimate its powers. Of course, at the end of the day, you alone can only create your own happiness and transform your life. Feng shui and other avenues of improving one's life can play a part in allowing the positive energy to flow into your life but with the help of prayers, you can be sure that, with the right application of such means, you will succeed in changing your life, for the better.